Tuesday, May 26, 2009

And so it begins...

Ah, a blog, the worst and best of what the Internet has to offer.  Herein I shall post wisdom, grand wisdom, and pornography, oh, and comics, oh and things I thought about while masterbating to Star Trek fan-fiction!

Nah, I will just stick to the first one.  And as this is the first one, I shall greet the world's citizenry with the rules of the Internet, as put forth by the anonymous, but collected in many places.  My favourite is at http://nate.my-balls.com/?stuff=rules, but copied to here, since as rule 37 says, everything is copied.

  Internet Rule 1: Intellectual property ends upon entrance to the Internet. 
  Internet Rule 2: All media is pirated, if not prior to its release, soon thereafter. 
  Internet Rule 3: In a discussion, generalities are treated as absolutes. 
  Internet Rule 4: In a discussion, facts are used to imply their user's preferences. 
  Internet Rule 5: As a discussion grows longer the probability of the sexual preference of a participant being questioned approaches 1. Also known as lol fag. 
  Internet Rule 6: As a discussion grows longer the probability of a comparision with National Socialists or Adolf Hitler approaches 1. Also known as Godwin's Rule of Nazi Analogies, or simply Godwin's Law. 
  Internet Rule 7: In a discussion, facts are used to imply equivalence in their subject matter. 
  Internet Rule 8: In a discussion, key words are always omitted or ignored. 
  Internet Rule 9: A statement made with precision, tact and factual basis will be interpreted in the stupidest of manners possible. 
  Internet Rule 10: If a debate is going poorly, the weaker side will conjure their own facts. 
  Internet Rule 11: Regardless of any evidence, no matter how undeniable or absolute, you can never win an argument. 
  Internet Rule 12: A tangential discussion is vastly easier to have than an on topic one. 
  Internet Rule 13: The fastest way to lose an argument is to base your point of view in logic. 
  Internet Rule 14: Arguing with someone who is provocative and obviously baiting for an argument only fuels further arguments of the same type. Also known as Don't Feed The Trolls. 
  Internet Rule 15: Anything done, said, or made can and will eventually be subverted to be used against its proprietor. 
  Internet Rule 16: The more you show your opposition to something the greater its support becomes. 
  Internet Rule 17: Regardless of the situation, an increased level of cowbell, desu, lense flares, or midi audio will improve it. Also known as meme. 
  Internet Rule 18: Everything that can be labeled can be hated, and is by someone. 
  Internet Rule 19: Originality only lasts long enough for the first person to see it, consequently everything is old. 
  Internet Rule 20: If it looks like a trap, it is a trap. If it looks clear, it's a clever trap. Also known as Akbar's Law. 
  Internet Rule 21: Regardless of your online accomplishments, they will never amount to anything of lasting effect or importance. 
  Internet Rule 22: There is always something more disturbing than that which you just saw. 
  Internet Rule 23: Noone really knows who you are or what you do. 
  Internet Rule 24: Nothing is ever as anonymous as you think, even your neighbor has the Internet. 
  Internet Rule 25: If it can be said, it has, as text inside an amusing graphic. 
  Internet Rule 26: The purer a thing is, the greater the tenacity in its eventual corruption. 
  Internet Rule 27: In the end, nothing is sacred. 
  Internet Rule 28: Female sexuality is the only edge in an argument. 
  Internet Rule 29: Cheesecake is always better received than Beefcake. 
  Internet Rule 30: If it is ever in question, the gender of a user is male. 
  Internet Rule 31: The Internet is for porn. 
  Internet Rule 32: A version of the opposite gender exists of all male characters, while a version of all females characters exist with secondary gender traits. 
  Internet Rule 33: Regardless of what it is, there is an anthromorphic version of it. 
  Internet Rule 34: If it is or was ever a part of popular culture, or if it can be conceived, there is a pornographic version. 
  Internet Rule 35: No matter what it is, there is a fetish for it. 
  Internet Rule 36: No matter how outrageous it is, if it has even the smallest of percentages of profit on a transaction, there is someone attempting it. 
  Internet Rule 37: Nothing dies on the Internet, it is only moved or modified. 
  Internet Rule 38: The lowest common denominator always wins. 
  Internet Rule 39: People are full of shit, take everything with salt.

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